21 Lessons from 2020


Most poignant lessons I learned in the past year

As I count down to my birthday on the 21st, here are 21 lessons I learned in 2020.

  1. Hesitation steals the joy of the moment. Agonizing over decisions steals the fun of the journey.
  2. Subconscious conditioning exists to protect you. Make sure that it is programmed correctly.
  3. When God makes a promise, He means it (even if nothing in your environment looks like it at the moment).
  4. The way you see yourself can cause you to either make bold moves to self-sabotage in the name of humility.
  5. Pushing for a relationship/friendship with a person isn’t bad in itself, as long as you are prepared for the sometimes long wait for them to like you back at the level that you want.
    Caveat: it may never come, and that should be okay too. Nobody owes you love.
  6. My entire life is prep for my next step. Wisdom is transferable. The lessons learned should make me wiser, and help me make better decisions.
    True growth reflects in all areas of your life, not just the area where the lesson occurred.
  7. Sometimes, you are the racist, not them. Sometimes it’s you being unfair. Inclusion sometimes needs a critical mass to be fair to the majority. Sometimes you need to do extra to get in. Until the labels are down, fight the labels, not the process/institution.
  8. Acquired knowledge does not transform. Applied knowledge is the game-changer. What are you doing with what you know? What do you plan to do with what you just learned?
  9. Love is a choice. So is the way that you choose to express/repress it.
  10. If I want something badly enough, I’ll gravitate towards it, whether I speak about it or not. It is the underpinning principle behind the system that I deliberately leverage to make my goals fall into my lap.
  11. God answers prayers. Even the one you weren’t bold enough to pray out loud. The ones that you whispered in a corner of your heart, and were afraid to ask out aloud. He hears them. And regards them too.
  12. God loves me more than I love me. He wants better for me than I could ever think or imagine. So when I surrender my will to His and submit to His plan, I get the better deal.
  13. Accepting myself for who I am helps me to do better. Not some parts. All of me. Without judgment.
  14. Communication helps a lot. If what happened is communication.
  15. Customers are not always right. Customers are human. So are staff, bosses, and beneficiaries.
    Friends are humans too – not perfect. Choose your hard then stick to it (for as long as is reasonable).
  16. People are not good or bad in the absolute sense of it. They are just good or bad for you/ the stage of life you’re in.
  17. Truth is powerful. Truth can be painful. But when accepted, the truth can shape you into a wonderful human.
  18. This too shall pass. The transiency of time, challenges, difficulties etc. They all pass. This was perhaps the biggest reveal of the year. Nothing lasts forever. I might as well make the most of it because it is passing by, going away, and never coming back.
  19. There are challenges money cannot solve. Competence, character, relationships, wisdom gaps.
  20. Clothes can be used as armor: Good lingerie for confidence. Style and comfort for courage boosts. Or even intimidation and assertiveness. Your dressing and carriage tell others without words how to carry you, relate to you, what to offer you.
  21. I am an artist. Taste, Words, Pencils, Fabrics, Sounds… The medium does not matter – I am an artist. And a pretty good one (my clients think so).

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Jane Oluwadare

She helps neurodivergent people build income models, sustainable systems and learning structures suited to their own unique contexts, strengths and abilities.

Schooled as a Biochemist with clinical exposure and practice, the graduate of the University of Ibadan has spent several years curating knowledge and expressing the many facets of her talents and personality. She is now committed to showing the next generation how to do everything, and win by building bridges from the past, leveraging history, technology and innovation to forge a future that works for them.

As a coach, she continues to work with individuals (with special focus on neurodivergent people) to work through choke points in their different facets, finding strategies that'll push them through to the next phase.

With over 15 years of sewing under her belt, she has over time in her experience with a wide range of female clothing and the female form, constructed entire wardrobes from the scratch. She brings this wealth of exposure and experience to bear in running her fashion house (Hadassah's Stitches Fashion House), guiding the production of dresses for sale, leveraging on her gift for fabric selection to suit contexts and soothe sensory needs. She also teaches classes on garment construction, pattern drafting and the business of fashion.

An International Youth Council member and Global Youth Ambassador, she sits on the boards of several youth-led organizations in an advisory capacity; and continues to work with others to help develop children and young people to create a life of impact.

An avid food lover, chef and food critic, Hadassah spends her time creating new dishes, working as a private chef and running ZoéSpice Kitchen and Events. She is also curating her uniquely crafted kitchen secrets to be passed on. She puts all of her medical and nutritional experience together with over a decade of cooking and crafting recipes to create meal plans for her clients, helping them achieve a healthy lifestyle and desired body goal, based on everyday food items.

At the heart of her entrepreneurial ventures, she is the Executive Director of CriArt Skill Academy, a tech-driven school for creatives and neurodivergents to learn creative, social and life skills as backed up by their school curriculum. The wide array of options mean that no one is left behind, and there's an option that works for every student.

An avid writer, she uses her books and articles to educate, inform and entertain, making them valuable supporting resources in her work as a coach, mentor and teacher. They are available as e-copies, audiobooks, and in print.

At Phronesis Lighthouse, she continues to link people with knowledge, and ready to share, with people who are hungry to learn via programs, training, courses, and networking events.

She speaks, trains and consults, and has received numerous awards across her various spheres of influence.

At the very core of her being, Hadassah keeps chasing after The One who keeps her balanced and finds the ultimate fulfillment in her fellowship with the Holy Spirit. She quips that He is the real super power that keeps her functioning as an autistic person with ADHD, and often shares the insights He teaches her on Personal Development, Business Development and mindset reorientation according to the Word with Deborah's Court (her ministry expression).

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