21 Lessons from 2022

As I count down to my birthday on the 21st, I’m keeping the tradition of sharing 21 big lessons from the previous year. I’ve shared these on Twitter (as a thread) and on Instagram (as stories and reel recaps), but if you like to read, here it is all in one place, just for you:

  1. Quality over quantity. It matters more how well you show up when you show up, than how often. Take your time and do things well
  2. Poverty tax can be crippling. The money you think you are saving for survival ends up being spent several times over when the complications come around
  3. The absence of anxiety is underrated. There is a unique, enthralling beauty to peace of mind that makes it worth the sacrifices
  4. If you don’t have things yet, things may be the answer. If you already have some things, more things may not be the answer. Fix/build systems that work for you
  5. If you are pulled to 20 things, build systems that lets you explore all 20. You will not actively pursue all 20 for the rest of your life, but you will figure out the appeal, learn about yourself, find answers/unique solutions that work and eliminate future regret
    Bonus: you might make money. A ton of money. Just saying
  6. Refusing to conform comes with a lonely tag that no one warns you about. Also present: constant second-guessing and self-doubt
  7. It all works out eventually. One way or another. The same way water would always find its level. Spend less time fretting and more time doing
  8. Love is a choice. A definite deliberate choice to keep choosing them over and again. People, decisions, passions, paths… love is always a deliberate choice
  9. Growing is replacing innocence with wisdom. Doing the things that serve you well with intentionality and higher precision that comes with practice and experience. Leaning in to the unique self that you grow to discover each day. Choosing the YOU that you prefer, as against the you that they think you should be
  10. Authenticity is birthed from within, not cut and pasted on vision boards
  11. Not paying attention to the needs and preferences of the people you say you love is NOT a flex. At all
  12. “Confidence” can be cultivated. It is less about how you feel and more about how you present yourself. How you present yourself directly influences how you are perceived. Confidence and courage are largely outsider observations and opinions – they have little to do with your feelings or the reality of your internal environment
  13. You can improve on what you have done, you can change what you have done, but you cannot learn from something that did not happen. Show up
  14. Good is a distraction from great. What you say “no” to determines the things you can say “yes” to
  15. It is not enough to know something. People care WHO they learn it from. It’s not you. It’s the way things are. Their reception will always be coloured by their perception of who they think you are. Show off who you are
  16. The easiest way to feel useful is to look for something to do. If it’s hard to find something, add to or build on your repertoire of skills. And if the things available do not align with your values or lie in the direction of your core strengths, you might need to re-evaluate why you are there in the first place
  17. “BUT” is such a powerful word
  18. The fact that I know how to hold space for people and their differences does not guarantee that would hold space for me and my differences. Whether that is based on their inability or their willingness is yet another conversation entirely
  19. There is the murky progress of simply moving forward, and the murky progress of rerouting. Neither is inferior to the obvious progress of completions. In fact, if anything, they count towards completions, and so are the actual building blocks progress is made of
  20. Boundaries are not rules. Having a lot of rules make you come across as difficult. Boundaries are your go-to decisions about what WHAT you would do if a certain thing happens. Don’t tell others what to do – that borders on manipulation and control. Focus on what YOU would do instead
  21. Upgrades have maintenance costs. They’re often unseen/invisible from your own standpoint before you step into the upgrade, and that is the whole point of “doing research” before making a money decision/upgrade. The maintenance cost should sit into the zone of comfortable spending for you, at the expected frequency, or the upgrade would strain you rather than ease the quality of your life

2022 was several shades of amazing – an amazing rollercoaster. I walk away with my quiver full and my heart ready for more and better. If you’d like to read more insights into basic principles like these, or get regular tips and tools that would boost your growth and productivity, you should consider signing up for my newsletter

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Author: Jane Oluwadare
Jane solves hard problems so you don't stay stuck Jane (Hadassah) OLUWADARE is an autistic, dyslexic multi-dimensional woman who uses her different dimensions to amplify one another, and is committed to showing other neurodivergent people how to replicate working wisdom in their respective contexts. In the PKH Network, she brings her various facets, strengths and skills to work together in viable business models, creating solutions for other visionaries, and providing platforms for young people to grow into their own strengths, develop experience and expertise As a data analyst, strategist and business development consultant in PKH Consulting, she sits with business structures to help them identify the gaps in their processes, build the blueprints, strategy, process flows and structures that will get them from where they are to where they want to be. As a productivity and execution coach in PHRONESIS Lighthouse, she works with neurodivergent people to get more productive, and do more with less effort, with particular attention to autistic people and people with ADHD. As a fashion consultant in HSFH, she styles, illustrates, and brings 15+ years of sewing experience to bear as she works to produce and sell stylish clothing that meets sensory, functional and fashionable needs. She teaches creative and trade skills in CriArt Skill Academy, working with neurodivergent children (with particular attention to autism, dyslexia and ADHD) to show them how their natural talents and tendencies can be an advantage inside and outside of the classroom and school curriculum. Utilising games and play as tools, as well as drawing from her own personal experience as a designer, chef and writer she helps them transfer the skills from the creative arts into school subjects and real life. She writes extensively, sharing her thoughts in books, articles and through her various enterprises as creative stories and non-fiction think-pieces available in Books By Hadassah. An International Youth Council member and former Global Youth Ambassador, she sits on the boards of several youth-led organisations in an advisory capacity; and continues to work with others to help develop children and young adults to create a life of impact. At the very core of her being, Hadassah keeps chasing after The One who keeps her balanced and finds the ultimate fulfilment in her fellowship with the Holy Spirit. She quips that He is the real super power that keeps her functioning as an autistic, dyslexic person with ADHD, and often shares the insights He teaches her on Personal Development, Business Development and mindset reorientation according to the Word with Deborah's Court (her ministry expression)

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