As I count down to my birthday on the 21st, I’m keeping the tradition of sharing 21 big lessons from the previous year. I’ve shared these on Twitter (as a thread) and on Instagram (as stories and reel recaps), but if you like to read, here it is all in one place, just for you:

1. Quality over quantity. It matters more how well you show up when you show up, than how often. Take your time and do things well
   
2. Poverty tax can be crippling. The money you think you are saving for survival ends up being spent several times over when the complications come around
   
3. The absence of anxiety is underrated. There is a unique, enthralling beauty to peace of mind that makes it worth the sacrifices
   
4. If you don’t have things yet, things may be the answer. If you already have some things, more things may not be the answer. Fix/build systems that work for you
   
5. If you are pulled to 20 things, build systems that lets you explore all 20. You will not actively pursue all 20 for the rest of your life, but you will figure out the appeal, learn about yourself, find answers/unique solutions that work and eliminate future regret
   Bonus: you might make money. A ton of money. Just saying
   
6. Refusing to conform comes with a lonely tag that no one warns you about. Also present: constant second-guessing and self-doubt
   
7. It all works out eventually. One way or another. The same way water would always find its level. Spend less time fretting and more time doing
   
8. Love is a choice. A definite deliberate choice to keep choosing them over and again. People, decisions, passions, paths… love is always a deliberate choice
   
9. Growing is replacing innocence with wisdom. Doing the things that serve you well with intentionality and higher precision that comes with practice and experience. Leaning in to the unique self that you grow to discover each day. Choosing the YOU that you prefer, as against the you that they think you should be
   
10. Authenticity is birthed from within, not cut and pasted on vision boards
    
11. Not paying attention to the needs and preferences of the people you say you love is NOT a flex. At all
    
12. “Confidence” can be cultivated. It is less about how you feel and more about how you present yourself. How you present yourself directly influences how you are perceived. Confidence and courage are largely outsider observations and opinions – they have little to do with your feelings or the reality of your internal environment
    
13. You can improve on what you have done, you can change what you have done, but you cannot learn from something that did not happen. Show up
    
14. Good is a distraction from great. What you say “no” to determines the things you can say “yes” to
    
15. It is not enough to know something. People care WHO they learn it from. It’s not you. It’s the way things are. Their reception will always be coloured by their perception of who they think you are. Show off who you are
    
16. The easiest way to feel useful is to look for something to do. If it’s hard to find something, add to or build on your repertoire of skills. And if the things available do not align with your values or lie in the direction of your core strengths, you might need to re-evaluate why you are there in the first place
    
17. “BUT” is such a powerful word
    
18. The fact that I know how to hold space for people and their differences does not guarantee that would hold space for me and my differences. Whether that is based on their inability or their willingness is yet another conversation entirely
    
19. There is the murky progress of simply moving forward, and the murky progress of rerouting. Neither is inferior to the obvious progress of completions. In fact, if anything, they count towards completions, and so are the actual building blocks progress is made of
    
20. Boundaries are not rules. Having a lot of rules make you come across as difficult. Boundaries are your go-to decisions about what WHAT you would do if a certain thing happens. Don’t tell others what to do – that borders on manipulation and control. Focus on what YOU would do instead
    
21. Upgrades have maintenance costs. They’re often unseen/invisible from your own standpoint before you step into the upgrade, and that is the whole point of “doing research” before making a money decision/upgrade. The maintenance cost should sit into the zone of comfortable spending for you, at the expected frequency, or the upgrade would strain you rather than ease the quality of your life

2022 was several shades of amazing – an amazing rollercoaster. I walk away with my quiver full and my heart ready for more and better. If you’d like to read more insights into basic principles like these, or get regular tips and tools that would boost your growth and productivity, you should consider signing up for my newsletter

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