- 1 January, 2021
- Posted by: Jane Oluwadare
- Categories: Deborah's Court, PHRONESIS Lighthouse
Controlling people breeds a toxic cycle – because people being controlled go on to control others. Breaking it requires being firm on 3 fronts:
- With the person who controlled you
- With yourself
- With others around you
With the person who controlled you – Draw boundaries, and stick to them. Explain if need be (sometimes they don’t know and they’ll welcome the help. Sometimes, they are people that should be honoured). Give as much distance as is necessary, so you can heal and rebuild your life.
With yourself – Choose the paradigms that matter to you. Fight your own habit loops. Build better. Watch how you are treating others. Look for examples worthy of emulation. Focus on growth vs perfection. Believe bigger and enjoy the process.
With others around you – Set firm boundaries, but let them be themselves. Don’t let others ride roughshod over you. Be kind, warm if you can, but stay true to yourself. The true balance is being you, allowing them to be them, without sacrificing anyone. The relationships may need to go though.
Hadassah bath YHWH
The Father’s Daughter